Everyone knows the bars and clubs don't shut down til just about 2 am and coming home at 3 am was typical if I or any other adult went to a bar or lounge. I don't really party although I do go out once in a while, when I would he'd purposely create uneasy tension between us or pick an agreement in the hopes I'd relent and not go out. Granted sometimes it worked other times I'd go anyhow but here I was a grown woman being told I was "pulling all nighters" for coming home after midnight. We hadn't discussed times, this was just his personal expectation.
Given my personality he always knew to expect the unexpected after while he became a master at eroding my self worth to nothing. He'd consistently tell me just how unpleased he was with me as a wife from my physical to my contributions within the house hold and financially. In every way this meant from cursing me out so loudly in the heat of one of his unprovoked tirades after experiencing an episode of bi-polar mania, afterward our 80 year old neighbors wife could be heard through the window saying "He doesn't respect her." After being there just thirteen months, I remember re-signing from my job as a Transportation and Dispatch Supervisor after constantly having him get upset he had to keep our daughter during the day while I work. He'd broken my TV since I decided to do yoga and coincidentally argued with me about my choice to re-sign due to his complaining he became upset. He yelled and berated me so long and loud.
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In extreme cases they may describe sudden outbursts of rage with accompanying violence. They may have even been arrested for assault on their spouse.
Everyday I felt depleated at the very thought of what to expect from my husband from day to day. Then there is the verbally abusive and controlling narcissistic side he'd use emotional abuse as his weapon of choice. He'd say who hev felt I should see and that meant all my male friends this included my military comrades, school associates, male best friend and family. Since I was adopted at 9 months and reared in my family although not my immediate family that they weren't my cousins. His specific words of choice were you can't have any contact with any other man but him or divorce. I compromised, I kept everyone at a distance or totally stopped communication to put my marriage first so I thought. Oh he was was training me good to isolate me like most abusers do to their victims.
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These patients are frequently rather nervous, with a guilt-ridden, anxious look and effect. They may appear restless, worried, and/or demonstrate a fake laugh that seems to hide something else.
